what goes around, comes around

There & Back Again.

2012-02-03T00:19:00.003+08:00

Hello world! After a half year hiatus, I am finally back to this much abandoned space. but yes, it feels good to be back blogging again even though i might not be able to blog as often due to projects and assignments piling up my work desk.

Speaking of which, I have found a way to de-stress myself from all the hectic what-nots happening around me. introducing Estate Strolling! yes, it's a term i came up with and as the name suggests, it involves strolling around private estates at night for an hour or so. it actually helps me straighten my thoughts, rearrange my priorities in life and guess what, the best part is i can just let loose, feel the cool breeze of the night and just drift away with my feelings. well, maybe i can recommend this to people who are feeling a little under the weather lately because it just might be able to lift your moods and who knows, you guys might even see the light at the end of the tunnel?

okay, before i end this post (kinda abruptly 'cos i'm so tired), i'd like to share a quote from Bo Bennett and here goes. "Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success." woah, inspirational isn't it? hahaha. i know. so goodbye and goodnight!

2011-05-12T22:47:00.000+08:00

FINALLY. TODAY IS THE DAY I OFFICIALLY BECOME A CIVILIAN. ORD LO!!!!!

aww man..it's been a really long time isn't it? the memories of my family taking the penguin ferry with me to tekong seemed like only yesterday. but yes, 1 year 10 months have passed and i'm really glad this is all over.

well, i believe i couldn't have gotten over the long and tedious 669 days without the help and companionship of great people around me. all of them came through different stages of my NS life. first up was my bmtc school 2 leopard coy platoon 1 section 3 mates. i can still remember all of us going through some of the toughest times together. those nights where all of us hadn't showered in 6 days and smelled like crap. yeah, literally crap. haha. but it forged bonds didn't it? and the bonds shall remain strong forever.

next, it was post bmt which i got posted to airforce recruitment centre at cmpb for a flying experience program or in short, FEP. hmm..FEP days were really fortunate for me as i was able to book out everyday while my other friends suffered in either sispec or ocs. oh, i made new friends too!

so, most of us eventually got past the compass test, medical and interview required for the pilot course and the next thing we know, we were on a plane to a place called tamworth. we, the pilot trainees had to take a flying test called the air-grading. those who passed, went on through to the next stage. sadly, most of us didn't. but the life there was the bomb! but sad to say, it was a once in a lifetime experience.

after that we eventually came back to singapore and went to airforce school. this was a time when i felt i couldn't get anymore bored in life because all we did was just sleep, sleep and more sleep! we were practically wasting our time there! and did i mention we could still book out everyday? hahaha.

too bad, what goes up eventually must come down and i got posted to sispec for a hellish 4 months. can't believed i managed to survive through all the rubbish without booking out less the weekends. haha. i really need to thank all my friends for being there whenever i needed someone to talk to. and most of all, a really big thank you to my family for going through bad times with me. this was the stage in which i truly understood the importance of peer support.

everything seemed like heaven afterwards as i got posted out to 18 DA as a signal operator. this was an airforce unit and life there was pretty good! though i was still required to stay in but there were nights out everyday, so it wasn't bad at all. haha. i made new friends again and i must say they are one interesting lot for some reason. heh.

well, i needed to go through the signal operator course before i could officially become a signaller. so all of a sudden, i was back to being a trainee again. but this time, i made really good friends and some of them were still really close to me until today. my course commander and course mates were the best of the lot and life as a trainee seemed really short-lived because of the great times we spent together. right on the very last day of my signal operator course, bittersweet memories came rushing through my mind. the thought of leaving my newfound friends made me really sad but another side of me was so glad that i had completed the course and could go back to my airforce unit, 18 DA.

OR SO I THOUGHT. that was when me and all the airforce guys were told that we would not be returning to our airforce units and would in turn, be transferred to a new unit called 12c4i. a sudden state of shock suddenly ensued and we were all desperately trying whatever means to get back to our previous units. but despite our efforts, we were resigned to our fates and had to report the very next day.

little did i know that i would go on to make even more great friends and right now, on this very day, after 8 months of living together, going outfield together, exercising together, laughing together, i had to leave them. it wasn't bad of course, as each and every one of us depart to our various paths, we would still remember the good days spent together as 12c4i battalion signal company csp platoon bunk 03-18. thanks guys, really appreciate everything. and i'm glad to finally say that i ORD-ED. =)

2011-04-29T15:01:00.005+08:00

Pictures as promised!!! enjoy!

2011-04-25T00:17:00.002+08:00

whew~ just got back from a 3d2n trip to cameron highlands. had lotsa fun there and the whole trip was really enjoyable! but sorry that i'm really tired now so i guess i'll blog about it again soon! pictures galore too! stay tuned. goodnight!

2011-04-02T09:50:00.005+08:00

A Trip to Singapore Botanic Gardens

2011-04-02T00:41:00.001+08:00

Maybe i need one of this to hide my emotions from the world.

2011-03-20T14:07:00.002+08:00

well well well, it's already the 20th of march! and i'm left with 7 more weeks to freedom! so excited! haha. i really can't wait to get out of that green uniform and get back my pink i/c! but first, lotsa exercises coming up and i shall brave through them all! then i can safely clear my leave and offs and take a week's MC for my wisdom teeth extraction! hahaha. yeah, tomorrow will definitely be a better day! ;)

2011-03-03T13:26:00.001+08:00

life, i need to do it.

2011-02-19T21:58:00.003+08:00

sometimes when life hits rock bottom, the only direction it is bound to go is up.

yup, that ice cream girl. =)

2011-02-02T22:37:00.002+08:00

it's CHINESE NEW YEAR EVE today and i just had my reunion dinner. waiting to head out for a movie with the army guys and at the same time usher in the lunar new year! so here's an early shout out to everyone,

2011-01-16T22:04:00.002+08:00

i'm not cute, not witty and not even funny. i'm just me. boring, sensitive and lonely me. take it or leave it.

nope, i'm not about to get all emo again. just feeling a little down lately cos there're just too many things happening around me that made me feel anything other than happy.

i still believe that i'd be able to find that someone, someday. =)

2011-01-03T20:08:00.001+08:00

now i finally know, that i've always been losing out to that someone better.

2011-01-01T20:42:00.001+08:00

Why am i even hoping for something to happen when it clearly would not?

2010-12-31T11:12:00.003+08:00

AHHH! i woke up just now, saw the clock and instantly knew i was dead. totally forgotten about my doctor's appointment and had to rush myself preparing. in the end, when i finally stepped out of the house and was walking to get a cab, i figured that i wouldn't be able to reach the hospital before it closes (half day) and just decided to call them to change my appointment. but you know what? the next available appointment is in freaking march!!! argh. so fed up with myself right now!

anyway on a happier note, i had tons of fun last night!!! yeap, you know who you are and though i don't think you even knew of this blog's existence, i still have to show my appreciation for making last night a wonderful and unforgettable night. so here it is, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! =) hope there'll be more to come. and despite our bipolar differences, i guess we might be more similar than we actually thought.

so today's finally December 31st, i wonder how's everyone ushering the new year tonight while thinking back about what a good year you've had. well, i still have no idea what i'm gonna do but i guess i'd be running around celebrating with different groups of friends. it has always been this way and sometimes i really wonder how did i even do that. it's like i'm appearing in many places at the same time. haha. i feel like some superhero. =x

still, i've had a great 2010 and let's all hope and pray that 2011's gonna be better! happy new year everyone! rock on!

2010-12-30T16:53:00.000+08:00

butterflies in my stomach. WISH ME LUCK!

2010-12-27T12:13:00.003+08:00

'For every girl who got ditched by a guy, there is always a guy waiting to pick her up from the ashes.'

2010-12-26T20:03:00.003+08:00

WOAH! two months gone in a flash just like that. Got over Christmas and New Year's coming in a jiffy. how did i even survive these two months? that's kind of a mystery to me. haha.

so i realized i haven't been blogging as often as i said i would but i guess there're just too many things going on inside my head that i don't even know where to start. hence, the procrastinating and delay.

hmm, maybe i should start by wishing everyone a belated Merry Christmas! what did everyone do? i know i spent Christmas eve at home reading!!! like, how boring can that be right? everyone was literally partying their asses out while i was wishing i could count down to Christmas with that special someone. oh, how romantic it would be. haha. ok, i'm kidding.

but seriously, i felt so (what's that word? at ease, peaceful, serene?) laying on my bed with the aircon blowing in my face. i've never felt so carefree in sucha long time, but i didn't feel particularly happy. yeah, i've already told myself to live life happily as it is. attached or unattached? no matter. yet a tiny little part of me was still longing for a special Christmas, a Christmas not alone.

well, i gotta admit that it has been a long time hasn't it. lotsa things happened in these two years. things changed, people changed, i changed. i guess i'm no longer the Desmond i used to be. the one so full of himself, so readily able to commit, so unafraid to show the world what he's capable of. the Desmond i see now is just a pale shadow of his former self. with the low self-esteem and physical impairment (no worries people, i'm not short of a limb or whatever in that sense) totally not helping at all.

okay, i know someone out there is gonna give me those thrash talk all over again but c'mon, it's not like i can help it right? i can't possibly stop thinking about all these bad stuff about myself cos if it didn't exist, i wouldn't even be complaining right? but yeah, i know i should look on the brighter side of life. but i just wish there would be someone who could stay by my side, be it through good or bad times. i really hope it isn't too much to ask for.

anyway, in a few days it'll be another new year. let's pray that things would eventually get better while i await my own liberation on the 12th of may. yes, that is the time i'll be outta national service. till then, good luck to myself and everyone else stuck in the same situation like me. adios.

2010-11-02T00:19:00.002+08:00

it's the month of NOVEMBER! let's hope everything's good when i go back to camp next week. haha. (oh, and halloween was great!)

anyway, i found out that there's a deeper meaning to the phrase "no money, no talk." and that's "no money, no girlfriend."

yup. i do not have money. HAHAHA.

2010-10-23T14:02:00.001+08:00

Fade into the black and white. Life has no meaning anymore. Guess it's time to search for a new one.

2010-10-16T17:23:00.003+08:00

i have a dream.

that dream is to one day, be able to stand on stage to sing and dance in front of a million fans.

who knows whether it's even possible?

2010-10-14T12:49:00.004+08:00

URGH. stupid gastric problem has been pestering me for well over a week now. can't eat, sleep, live properly. the feeling's like someone grabbing on to your gastric and squeezing it real tightly. at first i thought that feeling would go away when i eventually fill my stomach with food. but i was WRONG! the squeezing changes to something like bloating after every time i ate. i'm so confused now cos i really don't understand what my gastric/stomach wants. and it gets a lot worse when 4am strikes. tsk. of all timings why must it be 4am? i've been surviving through this ordeal on painkillers and god knows how much more would my gastric be able to take. moreover, it's not like i haven't seen the doctor. but he just gave me some pills and ask me if i needed an mc. -.- i bet he thought that i was just there to get an mc and escape from army. i think if the problem persists i'm gonna go down to the A&E department at the hospital on friday for a thorough check. endoscopy might be needed. =( let's hope nothing big happens. sigh.

2010-10-04T21:30:00.002+08:00

i guess no one reads this blog anymore. haa.

well well, i was on the com for the whole of today when my mom came home from work and told me about some '80s Japanese rock band coming to Singapore to perform. it then reminded me of X-japan and i totally recalled all the brilliant songs they made which never fails to bring out all my emotions. i used to be a big fan of theirs' during my secondary school days and i shared some of their stories with my mom. like how their guitarist HiDe died and all.

which brings me to ponder over how people would just leave this world at the peak of their times. and i wonder when would mine be, when i eventually depart from this world, from all the rugs and riches and all the problems. sometimes i really don't know if one would be better off dead or alive. it's like, when you're alive, you'd be engulfed into a whirlwind of problems, emotionally, mentally, physically. but when you're dead, you'd be all alone without the love and care of humanity.

i guess i'm still searching for a true cause for me to live on. and that one and only cause comes in the form of love. i've heard so many times from countless of people asking me not to search for love, and that love would come to me by itself. but i'm beginning to doubt all these, mainly due to my extremely low self-esteem and lack of confidence. sometimes i just want that perfect someone who could be by my side when i needed someone, who could give me all the support that i need, who appreciates me for who i am, who helps me become who i wanna be, who would live with me through thick and thin, who most importantly, loves me. and i, in turn, would give her my all; even my life. but this is just all talk. it's all a dream, too good to be true. i guess i'd never be able to find someone like that. yes, i'm just a freak. ugly, fat, dumb and utterly useless. without a doubt, this world doesn't need me anymore.

2010-10-03T21:01:00.001+08:00

If only there were pills like these.

2010-09-24T11:30:00.003+08:00

good day people. i've been thinking lately, does every individual affect one another? you know, i feel that sometimes some people has the ability to make others laugh or cry like nobody's business. for instance, like myself, i'm easily affected by those that are really close to me. it's like i was laughing like a mad man when my best friend told me something that wasn't even very funny. i'm a guy with enhanced emotional sensitivity, so i get influenced by other people's moods. but to be able to stay happy and carefree, i was only able to do it with my best friend of more than 10 years. it's not that i dislike my other friends or something, it's just that i'd be having moodswings every now and then. like what the rest of my friends told me, i'm an 'emo' kid. okay, that's one thing that i needa change in order to live a happier and more fulfilling life. guess i shall start telling myself to cheer up everytime the periodic moodswings set in. hope you guys can help me too! =)

pictures again!

2010-09-23T00:08:00.003+08:00

Late late post tonight. happy mid-autumn festival! though technically it was supposed to be yesterday but still gotta wish everyone. =) hope you guys had fun! well well, i got so hooked onto GLEE that i spent the whole day watching 12 episodes! a few more to go but that's for tomorrow. i gotta say i absolutely love the songs! it kinda makes me wanna sing to the whole world just to prove to people that i'm not a nobody, that i can actually become somebody. haha.

anyway my ankle's gotten a lot better. i can walk a lot more now except that it starts to hurt after a while. but all's good and i'm happy! hope everyone's happy and i'm gonna go crash now. g'night peeps!

2010-09-21T15:11:00.002+08:00

guess what!?

i found so many videos to watch that i don't think i can finish within the week! hahaha. was randomly looking through my hard drive and found tonnes of videos like big bang theory, glee, gossip girl, heroes, how i met your mother, etc!! oh gosh. i don't wanna go out now!!!!

2010-09-20T22:48:00.003+08:00

well well, i guess a week has passed and my ankle's feeling much better now. just went to redo my bandage and i saw the stiches on my ankle! AHHH! it was freakin' long!!!! i think it was about the length of my index finger. and there were two of them, criss-crossing each other! my mom told me it was about 40plus stitches but i'm still having my doubts. haha. hopefully i can endure another week and see what my specialist says when i go for the review. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let him extend my MC. =x

anyway, MORE PICTURES!

2010-09-18T23:47:00.004+08:00

staying at home for the fourth day in a row. nothing can describe how bored i am now. i've tried everything that could be done and i'm still feeling so dull. what's worse is that my ankle wound isn't getting any better. which is bad cos the doctor said i was supposed to be able to walk on the second day. this is seriously a torture. argh. i got so bored that i'm sleeping at 10pm every night. (except for tonight cos it's like a saturday and i'm left at home thinking about all the fun other people are having outside right now.) sigh. guess i really have no choice but to head back to my bed now. goodnight world. let's hope that someone (or anyone for that matter) somewhere understands what i'm going through right now. bye~

2010-09-16T19:53:00.005+08:00

i guess it's all by myself isn't it?

sometimes i really think that not having a father is better than having one. or should i say having a father doesn't make a difference than not having one. so many worries, so many problems. it kinda makes me feel like i'm all alone in this world. whenever i see other young adults with their happy families, i'd be so envious of them. i know i know, these are all just on the surface and that everyone has their own problems to solve. but all i really want is just a family whom i can rely on without having to worry about them not giving me support and encouragement. i just want a perfect family. is it really that difficult? sigh. my only choice now is to bother no one but myself and hope things would work out fine in the end. please, God bless us all.

more pictures for you guys.

2010-09-15T21:06:00.003+08:00

hello world. since i've got a little bit of time i shall update this rather abandoned blog of mine. well, what can i say. it's been a roller-coaster ride for me these past few months. first, i got relocated to another unit and was told that i'm gonna stay there till i ord. which is bad cos nothing beats the airforce, seriously. and i just got operated on my ankle yesterday, i can tell you it sucks! waited like 3 hours before i could get into the operating theatre. when i finally got into it, i took quite a long while to be sedated. don't ask me why i couldn't fall asleep cos i don't know either. maybe i was nervous or something, but when i finally woke up after 2 hours, my head felt like it had just been ran over by a thousand 18 wheelers. i had to literally sleep for another 2 hours before i could start getting off my bed and going home. so now i'm just having a really rough patch cos it's so troublesome for me to move around anywhere due to my wound. even getting a glass of water from the kitchen is a hassle for me, not to mention bathing, having meals, etc. talking about bathing, i think i just split my wound apart cos i slipped while trying to bathe. ARGH! landed on my whole foot and the pain was beyond excruciating. damn it, i should've been more careful. right now i'm still trying to figure out how i can survive the whole of two weeks without rotting away at home. oh wells, let's all hope for a speedy recovery for me alright? =)

oh ya, i took time out to edit a few photos after the operation yesterday so yeah, gonna enjoy the photos!

i personally like the two photos above. love the colours and all. heh heh.

2010-07-25T10:56:00.001+08:00

I'm Sorry.

2010-05-31T21:15:00.002+08:00

More Photos!!! =D

2010-05-30T18:30:00.007+08:00

My first few edited pictures! shot these with my canon 550D. yay! haha. but NOPE! i didn't use photoshop. just the wonders of my mac! ;)

Click to enlarge!

2010-05-30T12:04:00.003+08:00

hello world! haven't been filling this blank space for quite some time. have been a little busy lately due to the ever-so-dreadful NS. anyway, life's never been better now and i hope that it stays the same throughout my whole life. =)

on a side note, i realised that i should really start to tap into investments. i'm already 22, with not much savings and am gonna leave for australia next year. so i'm wondering why not start reading up and doing research on how to make my money grow? haha. at least get a small capital for my future business or maybe save up to get married right? =x but all in all, i just need to make myself richer so as to gain some security out of it. haha.

found this book in a bookstore recently and was wondering if i should get it.

yup. let's hope that this book would help increase my financial knowledge. haha.

2010-02-14T11:57:00.002+08:00

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR & VALENTINE'S DAY PEOPLE!

today marks the 1st day of the lunar calendar and so coincidentally, it's valentine's day too! it's the first time in 57 years that these two days of different calendars meet and who knows the next meeting might be 123958278572609 years later? haha. but still, it's a joyous occasion for everyone!

i'm sure everyone had a great reunion dinner yesterday and maybe played mahjong/poker/blackjack etc. till the wee hours of the morning just to stay up for the night as there's a chinese traditional custom called 'SHOU SHUI' which literally translates as 'Guarding one's sleep'. this practice was said to be able to help one's parents live a longer and better life. SO! yours truly did just that until like 4am this morning all in hope of a better and longer life for my parents. i was struggling to keep myself awake the whole time by eating, surfing the net and watching shows but in the end, i finally couldn't take it and gave in to the Z monster. haha.

right now i'm just done with brunch (beehoon by grandma!) and all set in my new clothes to go visiting! get ready for some ANGPAO action! haha. so people, wish me luck in mahjong, poker and whatever i'm gonna play later kay? thank you thank you! you'll be blessed with good luck too! =)

oh ya! today's Ms Jayne Ang's 19th birthday and if YOU are reading this, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! hope it'll be a great one yeah? haha. P.S. i'm not a STALKER! lol.

alrighty, i needa go visiting already! see you guys later! tata~

2010-01-24T01:11:00.002+08:00

in the blink of an eye, my stay out life's over just like that. yes, i'm most probably gonna stay in starting from monday onwards cos i'm posted to sispec to be a temporary SKW (saikangwarrior) before my sergeant course (BSLC) starts in april. oh gosh, i really don't know what to expect now. would i be running errands all day long? or would i just get to slack in my bunk and relax for the next 3 months? sigh. in any way, i'm still gonna dread staying in that's for sure. no more tv, no more computer, no more dinners outside, no more shopping in town, no more friends and family time. so sad!!!

however! on the contrary, i think i shouldn't sound so sad la. i mean, generally i'm already quite fortunate cos i got to slack for so long as compared to others. haha. but still, when you're used to slacking for so long, you won't wanna get your ass up to do work anymore. so i guess i needa use this 3 months wisely to shed some kilos and maybe cut down 6 inches from my waist? hahaha. i know it sounds impossible but yes, i'm gonna try!

ya'know, sometimes i just want a body that's like immune to fats. like no matter how much i eat, i would still be skinny. (okay, maybe not skinny but at least give me a lean body?) i wanna be a metrosexual and doll myself up. hahaha. sounds damn gay but ya, i must admit that i'm quite a self-conscious person. so i care a lot about what others think when they see me. that's probably my biggest flaw? anyhow, i don't care. i have to become fitter and healthier for the sake of my future or else i'd be left on the shelf for the rest of my life! no way am i gonna let that happen, so just wait and see!

okay, sorry for the nonsensical rants. lol. i didn't mean to sound like a bitch cos i'm a guy after all. and i've been wondering why is my blog so quiet lately. haha. it's like i'm the only one in the world who's reading my blog. where are the people out there? seriously, if anyone's reading this, please tag okay? just to let me know that this blog's pretty much still alive and entertaining people. (not that it was created for that purpose anyway) but yeah, it's good to have people reading my posts once in a while. it makes me feel wanted. haha.

alright, i needa go to bed already cos my mom's gonna wake me up early in the morning to jog with her. (can you believe it? my mom jogging?) haha. let's see how she's gonna do it. ciaos! g'night peepos~

2010-01-21T14:34:00.003+08:00

As I'm sitting here wasting my time,
Random thoughts flashing across my mind.
Insatiable appetite fulfilled,
More than enough to get me killed.
And as tomorrow morning comes,
What would I have become?

2010-01-19T21:44:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wonder if anyone could see themselves as someone who came straight out of a fairytale. wanna know why? because i do. =x well, actually i don't really see myself coming STRAIGHT OUT of one but i admit that i do daydream about it very often. haha. like what if i'm some rich kid living in a huge bungalow in the prime estate of singapore, driving BMWs, Ferraris and Lamborghinis around town, wearing a dazzling white tee underneath that posh harley davidson leather jacket coupled with a pair of limited edition jeans from G-Star Raw. then taking off my ray-bans while getting off my car and walking to the most expensive shopping centre in town to shop for clothes just for the sake of filling my walk-in wardrobe up. (oh gosh. this is seriously going nowhere!)

but yes, i'm not like those typical guys who only judge things with a logical sense of mind because i do everything based on my feelings. as much as i would believe in horoscopes, which proved a lot about the 'feeling' part of my star sign Cancer, i personally feel that i see things with that 'sixth sense'. though i don't dare say that it's 100% right all the time, but i'm still pretty much relying on it most of the time because it is the easiest way out for me. i don't like to think so much before deciding on something and much less research on it like some people would. i prefer to go with what my gut feeling tells me and just hope for the best at the end of it. that way, i won't have any regrets if it does go wrong because i would tell myself that i chose this path and as fate would have it, this is my luck.

okay, i really don't see any point in what i've said above but yeah, just felt like thrashing out. oh ya, a quick update on the journey that i'm gonna take for the remainder of my NS period. i'm getting posted out to SISPEC this friday! gonna be a temporary rifleman but i guess all i'm doing is just admin work until my REAL course starts in april. THEN i'll become a Sergeant in july maybe? and i'll only have one more year to serve before i'm an Operationally Ready NS man! actually i could've gone into OCS but they required me to extend my ORD date. who in the right state of mind would do that? haha. but still, just the thought of getting back my Pink IC makes me so happy already! haha.

oh and i just applied for a few australian universities. hmm..let me recall what i've chosen. i think there were 4 universities namely murdoch, uni of western australia, sydney and queensland. let's hope they accept me asap! =D

anyway i guess i'm going to bed soon! haven't had enough sleep for the past month and the sleep-debt is really piling up, even to the point of me falling sick. urgh~ irritating flu. haha. but yup, goodnight world! (if anyone's even reading this pathetic blog of mine.)

a few pictures of me below!

2010-01-11T15:54:00.000+08:00

Courtesy of Flickr.com

2010-01-02T10:56:00.003+08:00

hi world! firstly, a very belated happy new year to you guys! may the new year be filled with fun, laughter and opportunities! with every new year, comes many resolutions. so my resolution for this year is to make myself a better person, as in mind, body and soul wise. haha. and i'm gonna try to get a good girlfriend and lay a good foundation before i finally settle down at about 27 years old? yes i know it sounds really difficult but i really believe that there's someone out there worthy enough for me to wait this long. =)

have been going out these 2 weeks because of the long weekend. had so much fun with my friends, though it's just some simple outing but nevertheless, we still managed to create laughter out of boredom. i really treasure the company of good friends because they never fail to spice up your life!

on a side note, there has been a lot of bike accidents lately and 2 of my ex-colleagues met on separate accidents. one is in KL and the other in singapore. both happened on festive occasions so to everyone out there, please drive/ride safely because you never know what might happen on the roads. take care.

RIP Xue Yao, though i don't know you very well, but whenever i see you, you're always smiling and being really cheerful. so take care on the other side alright, you'll be deeply missed by many.

Hadi, please recover asap and not let your family worry alright. you're a grown up now so be more careful whenever you ride a bike. learn to treasure everything around you, especially your loved ones cos they are the ones who were by your side when you needed someone.

alright, sad stuff aside. i'm really dreading the coming 2 weeks because it's gonna be the last two weeks that i'm staying in airforce school. after that i'll be posted out to i don't know where and would probably suffer there. oh God, please bless me with the strength to overcome each and every obstacle in my way.

ok people, i need to go play some games to make myself feel happier. so yup, bye! enjoy your holidays!

2009-12-16T09:15:00.003+08:00

I AM FINALLY HOME! hello singapore! hello my friends and family! hello everyone!

i'm so happy that i finally got home after 5 weeks in tamworth, australia. landed two nights ago and i must say that SQ's chicken rice is SO DAMN GOOD! wish i could have somemore! haha. but yup, i definitely miss singapore's food! all the char kway teows, chicken rice, carrot cake, fishball noodles, sambal stingray, etc! oh gosh, i must have them all!!!! =x

one bad thing about me going to western countries is that i'll definitely gain weight. and not to disappoint anyone, i've justified that theory. haha. super fat now and need to lose weight fast!

went to do my clearance yesterday at airforce school and had to run to so many places just to get people to sign my clearance form. so tired in the end. but i'm happy to find that i've got 5 days of leave to clear! which means i'll only report to afs on wedneday and since friday is christmas, i'll be having off day too! haha. damn lucky. oh ya! what else can be luckier than to miss next week's ocs/sispec intake and rollover to the march's one. hahaha. what can i say? heaven has been kind to me. lol.

so right now my personal goal is to lose weight first and enjoy my life! whatever things that may happen afterwards, i'll just leave it to fate. heh. LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST! that's my motto from now onwards. nothing's gonna make me sad or angry anymore! haha. a better Desmond is gonna emerge from his old emo shell. wait and see people!

2009-12-06T07:21:00.002+08:00

I GUESS I'M FINALLY GOING HOME!!!

oh gosh, just a blink of an eye and i've been in tamworth for a month already. i must say it's really been an eye opener for me cos i got to experience many new things. but nonetheless, i'm going home probably on wednesday? provided they got the tickets for me because it's like the peak period now so tickets back are really scarce. urgh.

caught new moon yesterday with ET, CS and Lta Nicholas. it was quite a good movie i must say and as all the girls have already suggested, Rob Pattinson and Taylor Lautner are as hot as ever. haha. but i think Kristen Stewart's character's a tad bit emo. and i'm still confused as to how a girl could switch lovers so easily. haha. but that's just my personal opinion so please ignore me alright.

damn! i typed out a bunch of stuff and it just got erased cos there was something wrong with the internet. guess i'll just have to save it for another time! ciaos~

2009-12-02T12:52:00.002+08:00

hello world!~

well well, today's the second day without the bunch of guys around. only 4 of us left here. i guess life's much more boring without them. no more shouting across rooms, no more chomping on food together, no more mass gaming sessions, no more huge pizza deliveries, no more movie sharing, no more monopoly games and the worst of all, no more company.

i'm starting to miss people like zander, captain alvin, alan, etc. they're like brothers to me cos we went through a lot of crap together. and now they're back in singapore, probably enjoying themselves before they proceed on to their respective units, i wish we could still meet up and have a good chat when the rest of us get back.

till then, take care people. all the best in whatever units you guys are posted to. good luck and god bless! =)

2009-11-27T13:02:00.002+08:00

hey guys! it's been exactly one month since the last update! been so busy for the whole of this month due to the air grading course. well, as y'all know i've been posted to airforce recruitment centre (afrc) as a flying experience program trainee. but actually all we did was just slacking all day long. =x it was nonetheless a wonderful time for the friends that i made and some that i got closer to. thanks everyone who took care of me and gave me guidance!

next, 10 of us went over to airforce school to prepare for our air grading course in tamworth, new south wales, australia. we were there for 2 weeks and things got excited for us when we first got our flightsuit and all the equipments for flying. so happy! we've learnt new things together such as 'mental flying' whereby we sorta imagined that we're flying an aircraft and we tried to rehearse all the checks and procedures that we needed to perform. though it was generally quite boring but we still managed to bond as a group due to the common goals that we share.

finally, the day came on 8th november 2009 where we got ourselves ready to board our flight to sydney. it was my first time taking SQ and i was lucky enough to get on board the A380 airbus! well, i can only say that the 8 hour flight was worth every penny the airforce paid for us! haha.

landed on sydney and had so much fun! though it wasn't my first time in australia, i still felt a little weird seeing so many angmohs around me. we took lotsa pictures during the 4 hour transit time there and finally boarded the plane to tamworth! it was a small plane and i think there were only like 50 passengers on board? quite interesting though. haha.

the first week was quite relaxing but there were alot of lectures to go through. we were really slacking our asses off then we immediately felt the pressure during the second week because there were so many things that we didn't know! i can only say that flying is an amazing thing to do because my instructor Mr Jerome Wong did some aerobatics during my first flight. fortunately i didn't puke at that point of time if not i wouldn't know where to hide my face in. haha. but during halfway of the course Mr Jerome went on leave and the deputy in command of air grading centre Major Cliff Chua took over as my instructor and i gotta say, i couldn't get used to the change in teaching style and yup, my results sufferred as expected. =x

OH! before i forget, we celebrated ten years of partnership between the agc and british airservices engineering (bae). bae is actually the maintenance contractor for us and there were some really nice people around. there was a dinner at the base's function room and we played a part in the success of it too! i was tasked to perform 3 songs with 3 other guys and i was glad that everyone liked our performance! the whole event was a great success and we really enjoyed ourselves.

bookout times are the best during our stay here because we get to enjoy free time and a trip to town! haha. our instructors Mr Jerome and Mr Gabriel Lim would bring us to some damn good restaurant to enjoy superb food that's damn big in portion! we totally died after finishing everything on our plates. haha. okay, i think i'm quite insane to have the courage to try camel meat and crocodile tail! gosh! can you imagine? haha. but actually it's not that bad cos the camel tasted like steak and the croc tail tasted like cuttlefish. LOL. but yeah, i think i wouldn't give it another go. too extreme for me. haha.

and today i just failed my 3rd flight which means i'm going home!!! including me there were 7 who failed and now there are only 3 person left. wish them luck!!! =D and for the 6 of them who failed, there get to go home next tuesday! so i'll be left alone for a few days to wait for the next guy who fails to go back with me. -.-" can't wait to go home!!!! urgh~

tomorrow would be the last book out we'll get to enjoy as a course and i would definitely treasure it as much as possible! AGC 12/09 would forever remain in my heart for the best memories we had in flying and the fun and hardship that we enjoyed and suffered together. thanks everyone! love you guys! =D may we meet again soon!

2009-10-27T20:26:00.004+08:00

hello world! haven't been updating for quite a while now so i guess it's time to catch up!

well, heaven has been really kind to me ever since BMT. i got the chance to be posted to CMPB as a Flying Experience Program trainee where all i had to do were just some admin work and a lot of slacking! they even organised two joyrides with the youth flying club for us to let us gain experience on how flying a smaller aircraft is like. i also have to say that i made many great friends there and if i were given a chance, i wouldn't wanna leave them.

however sad it may be, i still had to go because i had already signed on as a pilot trainee and today was my second day in airforce school. though it's still 8-530 everyday but we had been doing tonnes of check ups and x-rays to prepare us for australia next month. oh, talking about australia. i'm going to tamworth, new south wales next month to fly planes! haha. it's called the Air Grading Course. hopefully i won't get chopped and stay there for the whole of 6 weeks as the instructors are gonna assess on the VERY limited flying knowledge that we have. i heard the passing rate is only a pathetic 20%, so pray hard that i pass!!!

we're gonna get our flight suits tomorrow and i can't wait!!! hopefully i can post some pictures of me in it really soon!!! so wait and see, people! =D wish me luck!

2009-09-20T22:02:00.002+08:00

posting results were out on friday and guess what i got; FEP Trainee!!! haha. oh right, for those who didn't know what is FEP Trainee, it means Flying Experience Program Trainee. basically i'm just gonna go to tamworth australia for 2 months to fly an aeroplane! if i pass then i can sign a contract with the RSAF and become a pilot trainee.

SOOOO....PLEASE LET ME PASS!!!!! haha. but in the meantime, i'm just gonna report to the airforce recruitment centre at cmpb to wait and do nothing everyday! haha. i'm so lucky! YAY!

2009-09-13T20:13:00.002+08:00

I AM OFFICIALLY DOWN WITH FEVER! urgh. the feeling suck big time. it's like you're feeling groggy 24-7 even after sleeping like the whole day? and my head's so heavy that it's pressing on my eyeballs which in turn is making my eyeballs pop out! i hate to be sick! dang!!!!

2009-09-11T10:15:00.002+08:00

woo! i feel like a fat pig now! have been eating macs like almost everyday. tried both the mega mcspicy and mega mac and drank like TONNES of coke! coupled with late night suppers and 5am sleeps, urgh..i feel kinda groggy now. i think i've fallen sick.

still waiting for my blisters and abrasions from the 24km route march to heal so that i can go and RUNNNNNN!! i needa run badly man! if not i'll become fat again and that is a definite no-no. so let's hope that my wounds would be a good boy and heal faster. haha.

went to queensway shopping centre yesterday with weicai, weilun and got myself an adidas bag! i personally feel that it's damn nice! haha. it's only $79 from Limited Edt. =x after which we met up with hairul and alvin at comex. sorry for neglecting you guys!! i'll make it up, i promise! =)

home after that for a short rest until gary called to go play pool at bukit timah at 10plus pm. i didn't know that 4 guys could have so much fun playing pool because during the whole time, weicai was practically spouting all the nonsensical stuff like 'SLAYERS!~ i'm from SLAYERS~'. yup, he's crazy. haha. supper at Al Azhar after that, got ourselves some prata and a murtabak and now i've like a super bad sore throat. and i feel feverish. damn. please, i need to sweat it all out! haha.

okay, i'm running late already!! meeting weicai to go SP today cos he needa return some dvds from the library. oh no! the weather doesn't look too good. think it's gonna rain soon. and i needa go prepare already! till then, ciao~

2009-09-09T19:12:00.003+08:00

oh gosh! i just realised i haven't been blogging since my birthday!! and for the whole of BMT i was too busy to even read my own blog! haha. but right now, since i've passed out or so-called graduated from tekong, i think it's time for me to express my heartfelt gratitude and appreciation for all the people in Leopard Coy 03/09 batch.

from the very first moment when i stepped onto tekong, there was this feeling of unfamiliarity everywhere because i didn't know anyone except for a few poly friends whom eventually got into other platoons. but soon i realised i wasn't really alone because i got posted to the best platoon and section in the world, Leopard Platoon 1 Section 3! we were the most enthusiastic of all sections and we bonded alot faster than others. i'll always remember the times where we've gone through so much hardship with our blood, sweat and tears. i'll also not forget the times where we've enjoyed ourselves so much that tears of joy overwhelmed everyone of us.

thank you guys so much for making my bmt experience a very memorable one. i'll always remember talking to hairul on the first day, asking him which platoon he's in. i'll always remember the moment when i found out that joseph, whom i got to know through chanel 5-6 years ago, was my buddy. i'll always remember jonathan who helped me lift my field pack when i was about to die during route march. i'll always remember alvin who went to mohawk's toilet to bathe with me in order to escape the sabotage in our toilet. i'll always remember justin who taught all the valuable 'experiences'. i'll always remember faiz who never fails to play the illogical game. i'll always remember daniel who gave me so much encouragement and taught us how to handle snakes during field camp. i'll always remember jiaqiang for hanging out with me during book out days. i'll always remember benjamin who never fails to make everyone laugh with his cuteness. i'll always remember milton who helped me work on the song 'memories'. i'll always remember chor kiat for always going to the toilet to shit ever so often. i'll always remember sheng xuan for being si-bei-on (SBO). i'll always remember bernard for the admiration he's shown for lady gaga. i'll also always remember the rest of leopard coy whom i got to know because without you guys, leopard coy would not be leopard coy anymore. and you guys are the ones who made leopard coy special. lastly, i'll always remember all the sergeants and enciks for the togetherness, unity and valuable lessons you've taught us during the short 8 weeks and 2 days. thank you all so much people. you guys will forever be in my heart. let's hope that wherever we go, be it ocs, sispec or anywhere else, we would be able to enjoy our remaining time as an nsf. take care people. =)

2009-07-10T01:41:00.002+08:00

i am officially singing myself a birthday song.

'HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DESMOND! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!'

and this very day marks the beginning of my adulthood! after spending 21 years of my life under the arms of my parents (not that it's gonna stop anytime soon. =x), i can now pronounce myself, a MAN!

a MAN, ready to serve the nation in 3 days time! a MAN, ready to lead his men on the battlefield! oh gosh, i'm feeling all patriotic already! haha. but still, turning 21 isn't a thing to be happy about. cos with this age, comes great responsibility. (sounds familiar eh?) haha. there are lotsa things i have to be accounted for but i believe it's gonna train me into a more complete man that i've always aspired to be. heh.

anyway, the past week was greatelicious! spending precious time with all my beloved friends! catching up, having dinner or just seeing them makes me feel so happy that God has blessed me with all these wonderful soulmates! thank God for everything. =)

and since i'm going in on monday, 13th July 2009, i wanna take this opportunity to thank all those who have been through thick and thin with me! though i might not show it, but i really do appreciate all the help and guidance, fun and laughter that you guys have given me. if i were to be given a chance, i wouldn't wanna lose any single one of you guys. =') please take great care of yourselves and i wish you luck in your future endeavours! =D

2009-06-29T23:19:00.005+08:00

i noticed there's something wrong with my body. i don't eat a lot but i just keep getting FATTER!!! argh. damn my metabolism rate. why couldn't it be faster? i always envy those people with extremely high metabolism rate (i.e. ong caleb). if only i had a higher metabolism rate then i would be able to enjoy and indulge in whatever i eat. =x

anyway, i just remembered that i had a nightmare. no, in fact it was 2 nightmares consecutively. well, you might think that it's normal for people to dream twice in a row but there's something weird about my nightmares. what made me so worried is that both if them were about SPIDERS! let me recall what i had dreamt of.

okay, the first nightmare depicted me walking around some weird room. (couldn't really 'see' the background) then all of a sudden, millions of tiny spiders just came rushing out of nowhere! these spiders all had tiny legs and a greenish, reddish colour and it made me literally jumped out of bed. eeewww. the thought of it already makes me feel like puking.

i went back to sleep straight after, thinking it was just my mind pulling some tricks on me. but who knows, my subconscious state of mind would continue to make a fool out of me. i dreamt that i came into a room, with a greyish (blurred) background and there was someone sleeping on a bed. when i leaned to take a closer look, i saw a huge (and i mean HUGE) tarantula!!! but the funny thing was that the tarantula was grey in colour. weird huh.

well, i woke up and finally decided that enough was enough. so i just switched on my laptop and began searching for information regarding dreams and spiders. so, guess what i've found.

(these sources were taken from dream2live.com) 'In African fables, spiders are depicted and characterized as devious and tricky. Even in modern western society we associate spiders with trickery.'

(come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly. Our web of deceit. The tangled webs we weave).

'This is most likely because spiders lure and ensnare their prey. If you are dreaming about spiders, there is a possibility that your dream is warning you that you may be tangled up in a web of deceit. Take a good look at those around you, especially those in whom you have put your trust.'

photo courtesy of globalpsychics.com

scary, isn't it?

2009-06-28T12:50:00.002+08:00

Just For Laughs~

2009-06-28T12:33:00.002+08:00

I AM HAPPY!

well, not because weicai went AWOL but i managed to burn away some carbs last night!

actually, was just rotting away at home in the day as usual. watching tv, listening to songs, playing games, EATING. and i realised i got so fat that it's irritating me already. SO, while weicai was missing for the whole day, i decided to ask guanhua out for a jog at 2245. ran like a dog for half an hour then went to the fitness corner to do push ups, sit ups and pull ups. oh gosh, now my body's aching all over!

but it's okay, i WILL persevere and try to do it everyday. almost. haha. i really need to get myself fit in time for enlistment if not i'll just die inside with all the tough training regimes my friends in Tekong have been telling me. urgh~ i wish h1n1 could help me stop enlistment. haha!

so, today's another day of lying at home. no programs, no friends. so sad. but i guess i might go for a run again later. okay, i seriously need to go shopping in town!! maybe next week then. cos i'll get my gst rebate on wednesday! yay! oh~ can't wait to celebrate my birthday! haha.

Countdown To Armageddon: 15 days

2009-06-26T11:59:00.002+08:00

just got the news in the morning that Michael Jackson aka The King of Pop has passed away. he died of a cardiac arrest at his home, aged 50 after complaining of feeling unwell the night before.

let us send our deepest condolences to the man who created history by producing countless no.1 hits of our time, entertaining people and warming the hearts of everyone on earth.

MICHAEL JACKSON
you'll always be remembered as The King of Pop and more. thank you for all the wonderful songs you've given us. you'll forever be in our hearts.

2009-06-26T00:53:00.004+08:00

my blog has finally gotten a new facelift!

and with this new blogskin, i guess it's time for a new beginning?

after 6 months of hell, now i just hope i could stand up and be the happy and cheerful Desmond i once was.

18 more days to NS life and botak head. gosh, i really didn't realise that time had just flew past me like an F16. now i really need to get myself prepared for this journey every man in Singapore must take. haha.

on a lighter note, my 21st birthday's coming in 15 days!!! hope i'll get every opportunity to celebrate with my friends, family and all the people i love! YAY! however, i still don't know what to do for my birthday! should i book a chalet and invite everyone or just meet them in cliques? urgh~ somebody help me!

anyway i just came back from phuket! went there for 4 days and did lotsa fun stuff! okay i know what you're thinking about, but nope! none of that kinda stuff! =p but it was still a very valuable experience though! there're still so many places i've yet to go! but it's okay, i'll conquer them someday! =x

courtesy of Yahoo! image.

oh, i started reading this book recently and it's called The Wheel of Time. sounds cool eh? haha. it's some kinda fantasy novel which is very much like LOTR except that it has got 11 books out in stores already? i'm still on the first book though. =x but it's okay, someday i'll finish reading them all. hee.

okay, i promise i'll try to update as often as i can alright? cos i'm enlisting soon so i might update once a week or something? haha. but if you're reading this, be back for more okay? ;) right now, i'm gonna go to bed already. so tired after meeting chiachen and gang! haha. but it's worth the time and effort! =) goodnight people! take care and god bless!

2009-05-07T10:19:00.002+08:00

went back to school a few days ago. was so afraid that i would bump into you, yet for no reason, i felt like seeing you. though i wouldn't know how to react and would probably just hide somewhere, i guess that would be enough.

i miss seeing you, talking to you, going out and having fun with you. everything we did in the past, all the fun and laughter, peace and joy, i really miss them all. sigh. right now i can only wait for you to slowly get over me and start talking to me again while my feelings for you still lingers on in my heart.

i just wish we could start all over again. but i guess that wish would never come true.

2009-04-29T17:12:00.002+08:00

i guess national service could be the only way for me to change into a better man. i could get the opportunity to understand a lot of things that i didn't manage to do it in the past. i guess the trust that is ever present in a relationship could be built up through this experience.

i know you're still the sociable girl that you used to be. i won't deny that, sometimes it irritates me to see you getting so close to guys. but i guess i should somehow learn to trust that you would be faithful to me, only that it's way too late for me to do it now.

you'd always tell me that you've moved on and that i should too, but nothing could be forced if i still have feelings for you right? even if you've let me down or done many things that shouldn't have been forgiven, i could and would forgive you. that is how much i still love you.

for you to always push me away and shut me out is a little unfair to me. yes, i know you just wanna move on. but whenever i see things that are related to you, the feeling of getting you back would just rush through my whole body again.

how i wish we could still be together now. things would certainly be so much better and our relationship could even blossom into a happy marriage.

oh how i wish...sigh.

2009-04-28T18:11:00.002+08:00

i've been able to enjoy myself more during these 3 months while you were gone. but nonetheless, i've also thought about a lot of things. i guess i've grown up into the full-fledge man that i'm supposed to be.

now i know how you felt when i was so sticky and clingy to you. i know how you felt when i treated you so badly. and most importantly, i know how you felt when you were all alone every time we fought.

it's was wrong of me to deprive you of friends. because now i know that friends, be it male or female are important parts of life. they make up a big portion of it and provide advices, help and guidance. if you ask me whether i would give up my friends completely for the sake of my girlfriend, i can now safely say that i wouldn't. because i've come to realise that a well-balanced lifestyle and relationship is vital to the longevity of a couple's love.

however, i guess it's all too late for me to say anything now. i've gotten over you already and i know you don't even relate yourself to me anymore. but what's gonna happen in the future is only for us to find out. because if there were to be another chance for us to be together, i would willingly and gladly accept it and never let you go again. i guess that's because you still hold a very important place in my heart.

even though you don't read my blog anymore, i just wish i could say all these things to you now.

2009-04-28T18:05:00.000+08:00

i miss you baby..i still do..

2009-03-13T20:55:00.002+08:00

it's been two months..

why am i still being ignored? why am i still being treated like nobody. why am i still being taken as non-existent.

while you are enjoying your time away, i'm here wasting mine. while you're out there fooling around with other people, i'm here making a fool of myself.

i really don't know what made you become like that. i've really changed and i just hope you can see it someday.

but right now, if you're not gonna value me, i guess there won't be any vice versa too.

take care girl..you'll always be my baby..

2009-03-13T20:53:00.001+08:00

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know

I love you
I've loved you all along
I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of Hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything, but I won't give up
'Cause you know, you know, you know

That I love you
I loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'd never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

So far away
So far away
Far away for far too long
So far away
So far away
Far away for far too long

But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
I love you
I loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me,and never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me never let me go

Keep breathing
Hold on to me, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me, never let me go

2009-02-22T02:29:00.001+08:00

Wrap my arms
Around your name
Feel your breath
Against my pain
As i breathe out the past is gone

Empty smile
Naked heart
Who I Was
Falls apart
When you're here inside of me

Feel till you're numb
Depth perception becoming
The new deaf & dumb

I'm losing myself just to find a place in your mind
In your mind
Changing myself just to stand along in your eyes
In your eyes... pull me in
Take me out
Make me over

Read the wave
Ride your fears
In this ocean of years
We've been here, swimming on

Take me deep
Till I find
Every corner of your mind
We've been here, swimming on

Touch till you taste
All the time we are wasting
Alone, waiting here

I'm losing myself just to find a place in your mind
In your mind
Changing myself just to stand
Alone in your eyes
Your eyes...
Pull me in
Take me out
Make me over and shout me out loud
Shout me out loud

2009-02-14T22:17:00.002+08:00

today's valentine's day and i'm all alone. guess you would've spent it with your friends or probably another guy. well, i spent the whole day looking at different breeds of dogs. i realised i liked german shepherd. no idea why. maybe because it looks handsome. really wish i could get my hands on one.

anyway, it's been almost a month already. i don't even think you'd care anymore. but one thing i don't understand is that why should you ignore me? am i really that detestable that you can talk to any guy except me? what's wrong with being friends again? i know you wanna enjoy your so-called youth and freedom, but why should you ignore all my messages?

do you know that i haven't been home for 2 weeks already? i'm still very afraid to go home because when i'm home and alone, all the memories will start to flow into my mind again. i would just keep looking at our pictures and think about how our relationship was so sweet. i dreamed of you almost every night and even though all my friends tell me that i should move on, i refused. i just can't get over you and i can't even explain why.

now i don't even know whether you still read my blog or not. since you've already shut me out from your life. but one thing's for sure, i still love you. alot alot alot. ='(

2009-02-04T18:41:00.000+08:00

She's starin' at me,
I'm sittin', wonderin' what she's thinkin'.
Mmmmm
Nobody's talkin',
'Cause talkin' just turns into screamin'.
Ohhh...
And now is I'm yellin' over her,
She's yellin' over me.
All that that means
Is neither of us is listening,
(And what's even worse).
That we don't even remember why were fighting.

So both of us are mad for...

Nothin'
(Fighting for).
Nothin'
(Crying for).
Nothin'
(Whoahhh).
But we won't let it go for
Nothin'
(No not for)
Nothin'.
This should be nothin' to a love like what we got.
Ohhh, baby...

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain...
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no...

And it gets me upset, girl
When you're constantly accusing.
(Askin' questions like you've already known).
We're fighting this war, baby
When both of us are losing.
(This ain't the way that love is supposed to go).

Whoaaaaaaaaa...
[What happened to workin' it out].
We've falled into this place
Where you ain't backin' down
And I ain't backin' down.

So what the hell do we do now...
It's all for...

Nothin'
(Fighting for).
Nothin'
(Crying for).
Nothin'
(Whoahhh).
But we won't let it go for
Nothin'
(No not for)
Nothin'.
This should be nothin' to a love like what we got.
Ohhh, baby...

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain...
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no...

Oh baby this love ain't gonna be perfect,
(Perfect, perfect, oh oh).
And just how good it's gonna be.
We can't fuss and we can't fight
Long as everything alright between us
Before we go to sleep.

Baby, we're gonna be happy.

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain...
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no...

2009-01-19T11:49:00.002+08:00

i don't know why have things turned out this way. after 1.5 years of both happy and sad moments we still couldn't make things work out for us. i really don't want any of these to happen. i know that it's too late to turn things back to the way they were, but i believe we can take things to the future and start anew.

i love you, i miss you. please..don't do this to me.
we deserve each other..

2008-11-20T11:38:00.002+08:00

i don't know what to do! i'm wrong if i don't care, i'm also wrong if i care too much. i really don't know what else i can do. i just feel like dying. no family, no love, no friends, no life. might as well die. oh wait, i was being dared to die. and i know i can and will do it. someday. someday soon.

2008-11-12T11:45:00.002+08:00

whenever i say i don't mind, i don't mean it. whenever i say it's ok, i don't mean it. whenever i say goodbye, i don't mean it. whenever i say break up, i don't mean it. whenever i say i don't love you, i don't mean it.

sigh. i don't know. you're doing so many things that's making me so disappointed. but i can't tell you. i don't even dare to tell you. cos i'm so scared. i don't wanna quarrel anymore. i don't wanna deliberately ask you to love me more. i don't wanna try to make things look okay. i'm so stuffed up.

i need you to do it on your own accord. i need you to realise it yourself. i need you to want to love me more. i need you to know i'm important to you. i need you to really put me as your priority.

i'm sorry. but things are just so different now. i'm not saying i'm gonna stop loving you. but the way things are going now, i'm so afraid we won't last. sigh.

2008-11-11T09:44:00.003+08:00

things are still not going smoothly. nothing is stable yet. i don't know why is it like that. i don't know what else i need to do to make you love me more. it's not the things you said, but how you act everyday. all your little actions showed that you're not really back yet. sigh. i can only hope for the best now. please, just come back to me alright? both physically, mentally and emotionally. =(

2008-11-09T00:10:00.003+08:00

i'd like to believe that i'm slowly finding you back. i've noticed it recently and i feel that it's an encouraging sign indeed. but i still need some time to prove to myself that you can really be trusted and not make the same mistakes again.

i'm so afraid that i would suffer another huge blow again. i really can't afford to see another mistake again cos i don't wanna be sent to imh. i want an obedient girl and a girl who would give up everything for me, just like how i would give up everything for her too.

so please, don't let me down again. cos all the bad things you do would be witnessed by heaven and earth. and i truly believe in karma. trust me, i know. so don't betray my trust again alright? cos i love you so much that it's indescribable.

2008-11-07T11:26:00.001+08:00

i've noticed the change. i'm feeling the love. i'm very grateful. thank you. =D

2008-11-06T08:19:00.002+08:00

i've been losing sleep the past few weeks. i feel like a zombie now. can't really eat during the day and can't even sleep during the night. why did my life take such a drastic turn? i can't even remember myself being truly happy already.

those scenes kept flashing through my mind. it kept me from falling asleep. i could even feel my heartbeat jump so hard and fast like it's gonna escape from my body cos it just couldn't take the torture anymore. but i just can't accept the fact that you're treating him so nicely, buying him bubble tea, pacifying him and all. it's really heaven compared to me.

it's like he's the boyfriend rather than me. i don't know. maybe you feel this way. cos i don't even know anything anymore. you've kept so many secrets from me already. you can even tell him all our stuffs and whatever i told you. why can't it be the other way? i know you always say that i'm always emo and showing that sickening black face of mine. but who in the world wouldn't when their girlfriend is openly getting close to other guys and the boyfriend's the last to know?

i can't make a decision. i don't know whether i should persevere or not. i'm trying so hard to trust you but you had to misuse that trust time and again. i'm still loving you with all my heart, but are you? or did you give it to someone else already? i don't understand and can't comprehend all your actions. i feel that you're just sick of loving me and showing me care and concern.

and now i can only use this blog as an outlet for me to vent my frustrations, let out my sorrows and just hope that someday my real baby would come back. you said you need a month or two, but i don't have that much time. and i also understand that you can't change overnight, but at least try as hard as you can within this few weeks? cos it's never gonna work out when you're so hostile towards me. you have to remove that barrier that's preventing me from moving closer to you. you have to push him out of it instead.

i just want us to enjoy a blissful life together and live happily ever after. cos afterall, i still love you. not anyone else.

2008-11-06T00:53:00.002+08:00

do you know i love you? i love you so much. even more than myself. i can't afford to lose you. i simply can't live without you. but why am i being so pathetic? why am i being such a loser or pest as you've always called me. why do i still bother to show care and concern to you and love you with all my heart after what you've done? because i love you!!!

i wanna believe you so much, yet you're letting me down time and again. you said i didn't change, but why did you change so much? you said i'm selfish, but have you ever thought about yourself? we are in love with each other, but why can you still do things behind my back? so what if i'll be sad when you tell me things? at least you tell me everything and be honest with me. that's better than anything else. you've become someone who's so addicted to other guys' attention that it's scary sometimes you know?

i can't even tell you how i feel just because i'm so afraid that you would scold me and blame me again for trying to argue with you. but that is really how i'm feeling. all these problems stacking up in my mind. i really don't wanna go nuts. i wanna let it out somewhere, anywhere. i wanna start over again with you! but you've to learn what is abstinence too! you've to know that once you're attached you can't do certain things. you also have to know that once you're attached you have to do certain things.

i just wanna settle down and plan for our future ahead. but you're still in your playing mood and refuse to love me wholeheartedly. i feel that it's not even my fault to begin with. it's all him. he came in when we were quarreling. he made you trust him with all your heart. but you're not the only one suffering you know? have you ever spared a thought for me when you talked to him? you can even degrade me in front of him. i really wanna ask you, that if one day i stopped msging you, would you even start to msg me? or even notice that i'm gone? i feel that i'm not important anymore. i feel so neglected, unwanted, abandoned, rejected.

i just want someone who can give me her all and put her heart and soul into this relationship. but is it really so hard? i know i'm the emo sorta guy. but being emo and being sad are two different things. and the things you do always make me very sad. i don't feel like myself anymore. sometimes i wonder whether the gods up there are toying with me. my life is so screwed up already and yet this had to happen. i really feel that you've gotten sick of me. and i know you don't wanna tell me for fear of hurting me. but i still believe that the love is still there. your friends are not gonna stay around with you till you're 60 or 70 years old you know? but i will! i'll be the one taking care of you, loving you. so why do you have to let them ruin our supposedly perfect relationship? why can't you just go back to being yourself while i make a change for the better?

i know right now it's very hard for you to do it. but at least make an effort to try? you know you've always got me whenever something happens. i wanna be the pillar for you to rely on. i wanna be able to trust you and vice versa. but you're always either sleeping or ignoring whatever i say. i need someone who can listen to me. i need someone who loves me and stay by my side faithfully. i know you can do it. so why not make a try? he is just another obstacle in front of us. let's just get over this and continue loving each other. i'm really trying so hard to make you realise what i'm trying to do. i just don't want any other distractions.

i'm gonna graduate in half a year's time and soon i'll be in the army. but i wouldn't know what would happen when i'm not around you. i won't even know whether you would still contact him or not. i can only rely on faith. nothing else. and my faith has been shattered so many times that i've already developed a phobia. many phobias in fact. i can't sail through this storm without you. i really need you to listen to whatever i've to say and never try to stray again. i want you to be able to tell the whole world that you love me and we're the happiest couple in the world. i'm really hoping. cos that's all i can do now.

sorry for all the wrong things i've done. sorry for keep reminding you of all the unhappy memories. sorry for whining and complaining like a kid. sorry for not being like him. sorry for being fat. sorry for being possessive. sorry for always crying like a baby. sorry for making your whole family hate me. sorry for giving every guy out there a chance to go after you. sorry for being emo. sorry for showing you sad faces. sorry for scolding you. sorry for everything. sorry baby. but i still love you. and now i don't even know what you would do when you read this post. i'm so afraid. ='(

2008-11-05T11:39:00.002+08:00

i'm trying to so hard to change myself, but i'm just not happy. now i really understand why people struggle to quit smoking. my bad habits are just of another form, it's also as difficult to kick away. i wanna make myself ignore a lot of things, i wanna care but not be nosy. i want to be a normal person and love like any other normal people would. but i just can't. i'm so afraid i'll go crazy. i'm so scared i'll become schizophrenic. i don't wanna imagine myself falling in love with another you. i don't wanna force any changes. i want it to be willing, to be automatic, to be thought about.

i'm sorry for not fulfilling everything i had promised. i'm sorry for acting in such a childish way. i'm sorry for making myself so detestable. i'm sorry. for everything. i just want a beautiful relationship and a bright future. hope will always be in my mind, love will always be in my heart, i will always be with you.

2008-11-03T23:03:00.002+08:00

things have changed and everything seems so different now. it doesn't feel the same as it used to be anymore. but i'm not willing to give up. i don't wanna let go, much less break up again. right now i'm just hoping that we'll be able to help each other through this bad patch and find back the good old days of ours'.

i don't even know whether you'll listen or not. but i don't wanna be the only one trying so hard to make this work. it's not that i'm selfish or whatsoever. but i just need someone to work hard with me and offer me some support. at least a little motivation would help a lot.

even the best relationship in the world comes with conditions. limitations are unavoidable and there are really some things a person can't do or should not even think of attempting when he/she is attached. i don't wanna name everything out for it might just turn out to be an irritating remark or some rubbish from a guy who doesn't deserve to ask for anything, much less have the right to.

i just hope that we can take a step back and really let love conquer all else. yes, love is that powerful. follow your heart.

2008-11-02T23:53:00.003+08:00

seriously, i do believe in what goes around, comes around. and now i'm finally able to concentrate on being happy and cheerful, i just wish i could be rich as well. =x greed is good isn't it? haha. judgment day's finally over. and i'm so glad that my baby's back! i guess i'm the LUCKIEST PERSON ON EARTH! hahaha. ciao! =p

patience is a virtue, so is forgiveness.

2008-10-29T20:02:00.002+08:00

i'm slowly picking myself up these few days. at least the situation's not that bad anymore. at least my thoughts and feelings were heard. but i just hope they were taken into real consideration cos i really hope that things would return to normal. just like the days when i'm living my dream life everyday.

you're just like my mom. both of you always have no confidence. always think too much about other's opinion. i told my mom, if you really want something, just go for it. cos by the time you're done with all your hesitation and dilly-dallying, it might just be gone. and you would've missed the greatest opportunity in life.

sigh, now i'm just afraid that disappointment would fall on me on friday. but i'm silently hoping that i would pass judgment day with a huge smile on my face. no, on OUR faces i mean. i don't wanna go to heaven only to be found that i've been banished to hell forever. i want nothing of that to happen. now, i can only pray. with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my love.

a huge surprise is coming up on friday. i hope it works cos i've never ever done this to anyone before. yes, not even my mom. =)

2008-10-28T21:14:00.003+08:00

haven't been happy for such a long time. today was probably the best day. i'm picking up my confidence slowly, but surely. let's just hope that nothing bad would happen to spoil my plans.

today's lesson was crazy. had lecture in the morning and the lecturer was always telling us grandmother stories, saying she'd been to this country, that country. she keeps digressing halfway through the lesson and her time management skills sucked. anyway i didn't really pay attention to her either, was doing my tutorial homework. hahaha.

but i had to say, this sem's a little slack cos maybe the projects aren't here yet. let's hope i can do very well and maybe try to get into a foreign university. but actually i feel that i might have a change of plans. i don't know. i might not even go overseas at all. cos i feel that i won't bear to leave everything down and just fly out of the country. sigh. should i just stay here and work/study at the same time? at least i still can see you.

but what about army? i don't know what would happen. i can only rely on faith and trust. i'd always imagine myself smuggling out a rifle and try shooting someone. ok i'm crazy, ignore me. anyway i've got to go and do my tutorial homework now. if not i'll get lectured by the dumb milf lecturer tomorrow. hahahahaha. ciao!

cnwl. hearts.

2008-10-27T22:45:00.002+08:00

why do you keep giving me the impression that you're saying this and doing another? you lifted me up to heaven but pushed me down to hell again. i don't know how long i can take this. but i'm willing to. all because i feel that my efforts would prevail and things would go back to its original state again. happiness would come once again and sorrow would disappear from the face of the earth forever.

what i want is to keep this going. cos i feel that 15+ plus would all go to waste if we just let it go like that. i don't wanna regret it 30 years down the road and wished i hadn't made the wrong decision. but now i always find myself living in denial. always denying the facts and suppressing myself from all the hate, anger, sorrow, everything. i'm a human for goodness sake. i breathe, i'm made up of flesh and blood. i need some guidance, encouragement, anything. as long as it can help me get through all these, i'll be very grateful. sigh. i'm so lost now!!

2008-10-27T21:36:00.002+08:00

i'm feeling alot better now. at least now it's not so complicated anymore. i'm very certain that i've learnt a valuable lesson and have changed for the better. but i've got other things to worry about. like what would happen when i graduate? what would happen when i begin to serve the nation? i don't know. time seem to catch up with me before i'd even realised it. and i don't know if i can concentrate on my commitments without having to think about what's happening outside.

i'm hoping for things to get better. cos i really need it. i have to make sure that everything's gonna be alright. although i don't show it, but my heart more or less still hurts from all the things i've to worry about. now i can only put my faith and trust on the line and really hope for the best. please, don't let me down...

cos i love you..

2008-10-26T21:17:00.001+08:00

Never before have I seen you look so blue
I can't find a cure and nothing comforts you
The light at the end of the tunnel
Doesn't shine at the end of the day

Everytime you cry
Save up all your tears
I will be your rainbow
When they disappear
Wash away the pain'
Til you smile again
I will be the laughter in your eyes
Every time you cry
Every time you cry

Time has a way of wounding what has healed
What can I say? I know just how you feel
Your soul is dark and troubled
Like a river running wild

Everytime you cry
Save up all your tears
I will be your rainbow
When they disappear
Wash away the pain
'Til you smile again
I will be the one who dries your eyes
Every time you cry
Every time you cry

Well, you know that's what I'm here for
I will give you when you need more
There will be no hesitation
I will reap no reward

2008-10-26T19:15:00.002+08:00

now i'm left with the last chance of my life. and i've chosen to give it one more try. i'm not gonna let any chances slip past me. i'll pick myself up if no one's gonna help me. i'll become a stronger man not just physically, but mentally too. it's not the end of the world, because right in front of me, there's a glimpse of light shining brightly. i can get there, i will get there, i must get there!

baby wait for me...

2008-10-26T10:08:00.002+08:00

sigh. sometimes i wonder why people get affected by others so easily. it's like other people's opinion matters more than their own. and especially in love, where falling in love with someone means that a particular person is experiencing it, not their family or friends or anyone else for that matter.

i mean, it's true that their opinions help a little. but ultimately, the decision lies on the person himself. and though this may sound a little naive, but i truely believe that one should follow his heart and go for what is best for him. even if it meant that he'll lose something for it. cos life's like that, when you gain something, you would also tend to lose some other things that you already have. it's just whether you're willing to give up or not.

i know very well what i want, but i also hope that someday, things would go my way. cos i feel that when two hearts beat together, nothing is impossible. i only need one thing. F.A.I.T.H

i'll do whatever it takes, to turn this around
i know what's at stake, i know that i've let you down
and if you give me a chance, believe that i can change
i'll keep us together, whatever it takes

2008-10-24T23:34:00.002+08:00

A BETTER TOMORROW.

i know you can give it to me.

2008-10-22T18:40:00.002+08:00

ok, things are looking better today cos it's a new beginning for me. went to cmpb with satish for my NS medical check up today. bloody hell took me 4 hours to complete it! the IQ test was a killer cos they had SOOOO many questions and SOOOO little time. hur. oh ya, i got pes bp which means i'm overweight. so sad! so i'll do my best to slim down!!! cos the report said that i need to lose 8.5 to 13.3kgs!!!! GOSH! that's hell la! how am i gonna lose all these weight in a few months? i'm so DEAD. oh wait, i died yesterday already. hahaha. lame.

and to add a secret, i had botak jones for lunch. HAHAHAHA. went to meet daniel and dexter in town after that cos daniel wanted to get his phone repaired. walked awhile and they had kfc. =x i ate spicy drumlets only. wah, i'm so dead la. then we walked awhile more and went home. such a pity i had to miss the entire day's lesson today. really like psychology for managing people. =(

tomorrow's IS day, dexter and satish's birthday celebration too. don't know what they're planning. but most probably just have lunch or dinner in town i guess. i'm still thinking whether i should drive tomorrow. cos i haven't been driving since our last meeting. sigh. i'm so scared i'll forget how to drive. =x but i shall try la. haha.

alright then, i guess i shall go and watch some drama serials. bubbye!

We're thinking we would never be apart
With your name tattooed across my heart
Who would have thought it would end up like this?
Where everything we talked about is gone
And the only chance we have of moving on
Is try to take it back
Before it all went wrong

For The Dearest You..

2008-10-21T20:49:00.003+08:00

it's finally over. this wonderful relationship of 15+ months. aren't you glad?

there're so many songs in my mp3 that could describe how i've been feeling all these while. and everytime i listen to it, i feel so very sad. images of you doing that unforgivable act with that guy just kept flashing so clearly through my mind. and i would cry so hard whenever i think of you. i know i told you i'll forgive you, but i just can't forget about it and take my mind off it. how many times you lied to me, how many times you got close to guys, etc. i can't take it. and i'm sorry.

i've learned so much from you. both good and bad. but i'm still glad that we were once together. for all the memories are the most beautiful in my life. i know i wasn't a good boyfriend, but at least i did my part. i loved you so much more than you'll ever know. it's such a pity we couldn't fulfill our wish of getting married and having lots of kids together. but i still hope you'll eventually find someone worthy of your love and would take care of you with all his heart.

i've told you alot of times that i don't wanna lose you, but it didn't get to me that you were fooling around outside. it's no wonder that you wouldn't come back to me. i don't blame you. i just hope you'll respect yourself and your family. don't be so playful and irresponsible anymore. you're 18 already, so grow up and learn how to become a good woman. take care of yourself and your family ok? and for the last time, i love you baby. all the times we shared, everything you've done for me will always be in my heart. goodluck in your future endeavours and may god bless you. goodbye.

everyone needs compassion, a love that's never failing. let mercy fall on me.
everyone needs forgiveness, the kindness of a saviour. a hope to survive.
i'm falling apart, barely breathing.
with a broken heart, that's still beating.
in the pain, there is healing.
in your name, i find meaning.
what am i gonna do when the best part of me was always you.
what am i supposed to say when i'm all choked up and you're ok.
i'm falling to pieces, 'cos when a heart breaks, no we don't breakeven.
my love for you is blind, but i couldn't make you see it
that i loved you more than you'll ever know.
a part of me died, when i let you go.
i keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'd never go.
stop breathing, if i don't see you anymore.

2007-07-11T21:47:00.000+08:00

shalalala! i am HAPPY! wee~

ok, as you know yesterday was my day. yup, MY BIRTHDAY. heh heh heh. and i can gladly say that yesterday was one of the most memorable birthdays in my entire 19 years.

i thank god for giving me such a good life and having great friends and family. i promise to be good so that it'll only get better. and please please please, allow me to make everyone's life better ok? =)

anyway, besides all the good things that happened these past few days. i think i'm gonna fail my accounting test today. sigh. and to make matters worse, i failed the first test too. which means i've to take a retest and if i were to fail it, i'll have to do extremely hard in my exams. argh. i wish i could have studied harder! =(

sigh. so i guess i better stay up tonight to study. cos i really hate it when people look down on me. you can beat me or scold me, but don't ever look down on me. as i believe everyone will succeed and triumph. so everybody deserves a chance to do it. so ya, i'm gonna try and grab that chance now. bye.

i'm falling deeper now..

2007-07-09T22:38:00.000+08:00

well well well, i think i'm rather emo today. =/

i was ok during class in the morning and listened quite attentively in which the tutor didn't call me up to answer any questions. so it's kinda lucky for me. went to play tennis for awhile after class and headed back to school to do nothing.

waited for michael and we had nowhere to go so ya, decided to head to town. was singing like nobody's business during the bus ride and didn't stop singing even when we've walked all the way from tangs' bus stop to heerens and back to taka. sat at the fountain and sang again. cos we were damn bored and had nothing better to do than to sing our hearts out. then went to lido and i was still singing. to the extent that all the people there looked at me. yes, embarassing. but i'm emo. so when i'm emo, i sing. simple. i don't and won't care about what others might think.

ate kfc and went over to far east and talked for awhile. and started singing on my way back home. ya. so practically today was like a singing day for us. sigh. tomorrow's my birthday. but i don't feel special at all. i know, maybe to you people it's not. but i think everyone's birthday's special. and the birthday boy/girl should be pampered on that day. well, i don't know. it's just my opinion. it's up to you guys to decide. bye.

2007-07-08T21:54:00.001+08:00

i'm loving my life!! surprises keep coming in and it's making my life so colourful now! hahaha.

well well well, went to school yesterday with michael to watch 'ultraviolet' in the library. after which the 'lovely babe' chloe molly joined us and we went to town to do nothing. heh. oh, hong sheng came too. haha. then i thought of kelvin and called him to ask him where he was. and he said he's working at CENTREPOINT! so, since we had nothing to do, we went to centrepoint to look for him and he looked so weird wearing all black! haha. but i must admit he looked not bad. heh.

HONG SHENG made us walked all the way to marina square!!! and you know why? yup, to look for wini. haha. ate genki sushi and it was SO nice! wee~ although it was a little ex but still, the drinks were free flow! haha. ok i drank like three cups of coke and ate quite a lot. which means i've to exercise a lot more to lose all the excess fat in my body!! grrr.

so we went to the long staircase leading to the esplanade to take pictures! will upload the pics once i get my hands on them. it's quite a nice place to take pictures actually. stayed there for quite awhile and went to esplanade. and i started singing emo songs for michael cos he was feeling miserable missing his baby..haha. awww..how sweet right? and i just made the situation worst for him. HAHAHA.

so after that i cabbed home with MOLLY and the whole cab fare was 40 bucks!!! hahaha. never in my life have i took a cab that costs my 40 bucks. lol. but nevermind. records are meant to be broken. heh. so yup, i've to go watch movies now! lots of it waiting for me. heh. take care people. be sure to come back for pictures! nice ones!!! adios!

2007-07-06T00:34:00.000+08:00

OH YEAH! i exercised today!! hahaha. went for floorball training and got myself all sweaty! which means i'll lose weight! haha. anyway here's the training regime. two rounds track, after which we did some stretching. and ten rounds track straight after that. came back..did some stick work and went out to do sprinting. 3 x 100 metre, 2 x 80 metres, 50 metres. then it was four rounds of track again. and back to the sports complex to do 6 sets of 20 push-ups and crunches each. oh my gosh. i can feel my abs now. thought it's not like very obvious but at least there's something there! hahaha. yay!!!!!

anyway i went to watch transformers again yesterday! haha. after a few hours of board games in school. the sudden decision came up and we went to shaun's house to eat a quick dinner
(and i mean REAL quick one, like 5 mins) and went down to tiong bahru plaza where caleb got our tickets and we were almost late for the show. haha. the whole movie was just indescribeable. even for a second time, it's still awesome! so people, check out transformers if you haven't ok? you won't regret it. cos the whole thing about people saying how cool it is was just descriptions. you've to check it out yourself to actually experience the total coolness of the movie. hahaha. ok what am i talking about? lol.

ok, so tomorrow's a long long day!! i've financial management homework waiting for me to complete and the teacher's gonna check tomorrow! oh no. i think i'll do it now. if not no participation marks. hahaha. take care everyone! nights!!!

2007-07-03T14:39:00.000+08:00

this is the self-proclaimed hot babe! HAHAHA.

2007-07-03T12:03:00.000+08:00

pictures courtesy of transformers.com

2007-07-03T11:51:00.000+08:00

lalala i'm in class now but ain't listening cos the tutor's really boring me to death. i'm gonna rot soon. heh.

anyway i went to watch transformers with michael, joanne, mah noh and samuel yesterday!!!!! OH MY GOSH! it was the most awesome movie ever!! the effects were superb, storyline so exciting and it really brought my imagination to another level! i'm definitely gonna watch a second time and when the dvd comes out, i'll get my hands on it. hahaha.

by the way i've yet to watch fantastic four!!!! i heard the silver surfer's damn cool. haha. there're just so many movies coming up! simpsons and all. oh gosh. i need to fork out some time for myself!! haha.

so ya, actually nothing much to update about. maybe i'm going for volleyball training later. just to have fun la. with jiv. haha. i think i'm gonna break my arm cos my biceps are hurting since i played frisbee yesterday. guess i pulled it accidentally or something. nevermind. exercising's more important so i need to exercise! lose weight!! wahahaha.

alright back to listening in class. bye!!

2007-07-02T00:54:00.000+08:00

2007-07-01T23:41:00.001+08:00

I HAD THE BEST WEEKEND EVER!

hahaha. ok actually nothing much but ya, these two days were quite eventful.

Saturday

well, i woke up at ten plus and went for a hearty breakfast with my family at IMM. i can gladly say that it is the BEST breakfast ever! hee. after which i met michael for awhile and went home. met up with hong sheng and michael again and headed down to the national stadium to watch the last two soccer matches being held at the national stadium. we were like 20 mins late and the match between singapore's ex-internationals and malaysia's ex-internationals started off already. and by the time we got there the scoreline was 1-0 with v sundramoorthy scoring for singapore.

the players were uncles in their 40s and 50s so obviously there was some lack of energy in the match but nonetheless it was enjoyable. cos it was a tribute to the glory days of 1970s where singapore participated and won the malaysian cup. the likes of Quah Kim Song and Dollah 'the gelek king' Kasim kept the national stadium packed week in week out and it was these extraodinary performances that paved out a way for the future.

so after the match ended 1-1 with malaysia scoring a penalty the last ten minutes of the game, the players were applauded off the field and were presented with mementos. that left a number of the older fans something to reminisce about.

we went to get some food and drinks and the queue was SO long!!! haha. but i've to admit that the food there sucks and it costs a bomb! went back to our seats and waited for the singapore-australia match to start. and when the players came out for warm-ups, we were like so frantically searching for the more popular australian players like mark viduka, harry kewell, lucas neill, mark schwarzer and marko bresciano. i managed to identify a few of them but was surprised at the ommission of tim cahill.

anyway the match started and singapore nearly went two goals up! the singaporean players were all quite on form and they put on a great performance only to be denied twice by the goal post and once by the keeper. but the second half was a different story as the aussies stepped up a gear and produced some mesmerizing display of attacking football which tore the singaporean defence to shreds. so two goals by mark viduka and one by harry kewell ensured a dazzling display by the australians and the scoreline read 3-0 in which the players were given a standing ovasion by us, the fans.

after the match ended a closing ceremony was held and the veterans of several sports in singapore were featured. some examples are tan howe liang, c kunalan and ang peng siong. it was them who kept singapore's dreams alive. so here's a big thank you to all the sportsmen and sportswomen for making history in singapore. =) let's all look forward to the new sports hub which will be up in 2011. remember, this is not the end, it's just the beginning. =D

Sunday

so sunday's today and i woke up early and went to bukit batok cc for a compulsory event held by the school of business. ate tonnes of food cos i've to support my classmates. and kudos to them that they won almost all the awards! haha. great job guys! tb27's always the best! =) so ya, drove home after that and here i am, so tired and sleepy. gonna hit the sack after i post some pictures up. so yup, enjoy! =)

2007-07-01T02:46:00.000+08:00

just reached home from the soccer match. tired. update tomorrow. nights.

2007-06-28T21:26:00.000+08:00

YAHOOOOOOOO!!!! guess what? daddy got me a new toy! amidst all the controversy and speculations that have caused an uproar among all my friends, the truth has finally began to unfold. (WOAH)

and the car that my dad got me is none other than....(no, not mitsubishi or honda or toyota or whatever you name..) it's KIA!!!! as usual, daddy always manage to spring up surprises without fail. cos he didn't even tell me that he bought the car already. i was actually told by mommy. hahaha. but ya i know i know..kia sounds like some cheap piece of metal with four wheels sticking out at the side, but i did a research on it and the new batch of kia (which my dad got me) is actually a quality bargain!

it has the most powerful engine among all the small sedan cars. it's a 1600cc car. has bucket seats, a sunroof, digital climate control, automatic light sensors and most importantly, keyless entry system! from what i remembered, a keyless entry system is whereby you don't have to use a car key to unlock the car. you've a car card with you and the car will unlock itself when you go near it. cool eh? i think right now only mercedes benz is using this technology. wahaha.

ok, currently the car's not ready for collection yet so i think i've gotta wait for like a week or two before i can get my hands on it. can't wait can't wait! woo~

oh ya there's this event happening at the national stadium this saturday which marks the last day of operation for the national stadium. there'll be two soccer matches and party afterwards till 3am! i feel like going!! the tickets are like $9 each? SO DAMN CHEAP!!! anyone free enough to go with me? hahaha.

anyway, i've yet to recover from flu and i've to rush to complete my projects now! argh. dying soon..so bye people..-_-

2007-06-26T22:45:00.000+08:00

FLU! COUGH! I'M FALLING SICK!!! argh. i hate falling sick. it makes me feel like i'm so vulnerable and weak. my eyes are all teary and they made me look like i just cried. dang.

anyway school this few days was pretty slack. cos it's e-learning and there were only like 2 hours of school everyday. wahahaha. yay. BUT! projects are piling up so it's time to get my butt moving and complete all these dumb projects.

so i've been spending time thinking about stuff these few days. not exactly something serious but still, important nonetheless. been pondering bout relationships and friendships. it's not like i'm in a relationship or my friends are mean to me, but i don't know. i just tend to think alot about all these. hahaha. ignore me. i'm crazy. =p

oh ya so tomorrow's lesson from 1-3 and after that i'm gonna do project! maybe go for a jog? haha. have to exercise!!!! for the sake of my future, i'm gonna lose weight!!! (ok, i sound like a girl) but still, it's good to live healthy. hahaha. so people, live heathily and happily ok? laugh out loudly three times a day and you'll live till a hundred. =) goodnight!

2007-06-23T23:55:00.000+08:00

woohoo! i've finally managed to burn some fats away today!! heh heh. satisfying all right.

well, it started off with work in the morning. was so tired and slept through the journey cos i didn't have much sleep the previous day. reached cathay and there were some model/talent search going on. the scouts were like so desperate to sign people up. even those who looked like michelin tyres' mascot got in too. hahaha. oops! =p

knocked off at 5pm and went to cine's outlet for a little chit chat session with the guys. slacked awhile and off i went to cali at the opposite and that was where my journey to the perfect body began. haha. ok, basically i didn't do much but just carried some weights to tone up my back, shoulder, triceps and my wings. did a fair amount of sit-ups and lastly, went for a run. that took up an hour plus plus of my time and i headed back to cine's outlet after that in which i had subway for dinner. haven't eaten anything for like the past 8 hours and they told me that my body would store up the fats to burn if i don't eat anything. haha.

took a bus home and slept ALL the way to the interchange and tadah! i'm home! haha. i think i'm gonna sleep early tonight cos i'll be working full shift tomorrow! which means 11 hours of rotting in the shop! oh my, i'm fainting soon. haha. so that's all for today. actually i'm running out of things to blog, haven't been thinking much about things lately. haha. no time ah. =p bye!!

2007-06-22T19:41:00.000+08:00

hello hello~ hahaha. i'm finally back from chalet. although we didn't go crazy in the middle of the night, i'm still feeling lethargic. i think maybe i slept too little? haha. i don't know.

ok, here's how it went yesterday. woke up in the morning and got nothing to do. felt bored and called jiv in which he was in school finishing up his project. went to pick him up and went to his house for awhile. then headed to paradiz centre to pick kelvin and left for pasir ris. wasn't very sure of the way but yup, i still managed to find my way there. haha. i think i'm good at directions. =p oh and my parking skills are getting alot better! like ALOT!! hahaha.

alright, actually i realised that i'm now addicted to 'love today' by mika. yes, the song's weird and repetitive i know. but the radio kept airing the song over and over to the extent that i'm now hooked onto it. haha. actually i think the song's quite cute (i can't believe i said that) and the melody's really addictive. (again.) but ya, i think i should go and find some other songs to get hooked onto. hahaha.

oh oh oh one more thing! i just found out that COE prices fell!!! hahaha. yay! which means i can buy a better car. =x have to find out how much is it already. well, a few cars in mind now. namely; honda civic, toyota vios, mitsubishi lancer and renault kangoo. haha. hmm..which one's cheap and good? i don't know, you decide. heh.

well, i think i've to end this post already. gotta fetch my mom from work. haha. so yup, bye people! =)

(i wonder if anyone still reads my blog. ha.)

2007-06-20T01:23:00.000+08:00

LALALA~ i'm bored! haha.

ok, this is a random entry cos it's raining now and i'm freezing in my room even with the air-con set to 24 degrees celsius. i'm working full shift tomorrow and i think i'll die of fatigue very soon. loads of projects waiting for me to complete and i haven't even done anything yet! a HUGE sorry to my groupmates. cos i need to work all the time so i don't have time for myself too, much less you guys. =(

anyway i was involved in an 'accident' last night and reached home only at 9am this morning. luckily i escaped unscathed, if not i don't know what would have happened already. heh. anyway this particular accident is called 'the kentridge tragedy'. sounds like some novel eh? well, i think if i were to elaborate fully, i could've written it into a novel. hahaha. but to cut it short, it actually involved a car, a hill with initial d type of slopes and the side curb of the road. so go speculate yourself. =p

by the way school's reopening soon!!! (holy sh*t, there was a huge bolt of lightning! ok, make it two.) ok, i'm so dreading it cos it's like the holidays were gone in a flash! i just barely blinked and the hols are over just like that. oh man, the worse thing is that i've to start mugging again! another round of tests coming right up and i could see the failure sign in front of me already. haha. =x

oh ya i'm beginning to become more familiar with the roads in singapore! it's so amazing cos like, almost all the roads are linked. for example, jurong's linked to PIE, PIE's linked to KJE, KJE to SLE, SLE to woodlands..so on and so forth. the traffic system used in singapore's much more organised compared to other foreign countries. i've been overseas before and it's like, their trains and public buses took forever to come. and the distance from a residential area to town's like more than an hour! SO, the next time you board a bus or the mrt, show some appreciation and don't complain too much. hahaha.

ok i'm currently trying to gather as many nightspots in singapore. as in not those clubs but places where i can enjoy good food and chill out with my friends. so, any suggestions people?? haha. oh and one last thing. people, please feel free to tag when you visit my blog or just happened to chance upon it k? everyone's free to tag but please please please, no crude remarks k? basic courtesy la so i trust that you know. =)

so yup, i'm gonna go to bed now. goodnight everyone!! byebye!